Christmas When You Were Mine
by gleekgirl1989
Summary: There were Christmases when you were mine.
1. Christmas When You Were Mine

Hey guys, so I'm back with another songfic. My friend and I just sang this song at a karaoke night and I got to thinking that it sounds kind of like the perfect song for the Finn/Rachel story right now. Hope you enjoy and please read and review.

Disclaimer: Sadly nothing to do with Glee is mine, it all belongs to FOX and the genius that is Ryan Murphy. The song is Christmas When You Were Mine by Taylor Swift.

Author's Note: This is going off my wish that Finn and Rachel were together last Christmas. Who knows if they were or not...

Christmas When You Were Mine

_Please take down the mistletoe  
Cause I don't wanna think about that right now  
Cause everything I want is miles away  
In a snow covered little town_

_This was no way to spend a Christmas_. Rachel thought to herself glumly as she stared out the window of the two bedroom hotel room she and her father's were staying in in New York City. Not that her family really celebrated Christmas anyway, being Jewish and all. This was the closest to celebrating Christmas they had ever come.

Her Dads knew she was going through a hard time so on the last night of Hannukah, instead of opening another present like the jewelry she usually received, she pulled out a plane ticket and a ticket to see Promises, Promises on Broadway over her Christmas holidays. So here she was spending 2 weeks in NYC with her Dads, and while she was excited to be in the city she cherished, she was as miserable as ever.

She looked down into the window of a small coffee shop on the corner across the street from her hotel and noticed that someone looked to be putting up mistletoe in the door. Tears sprung to her eyes as she willed herself to look away. That lone piece of mistletoe brought back too many memories, things she couldn't and wouldn't think about right now. She wouldn't let herself think about the only thing she wanted for Christmas. The thing she had asked Santa for time and time again. Her love, her Finn, who was thousands of miles away, probably sitting down around the fire with his family, not even thinking about her.

_My momma's in the kitchen, worrying about me  
Season's greetings, hope you're well  
Well I'm doing alright  
If you were wondering  
Lately I can never tell  
_  
"You ok, Pumpkin?" She heard her Daddy, Leroy's, worried voice say as he stood in the doorway to her bedroom.

She nodded. "Yeah, don't worry, I'll be fine." She assured him yet again.

"Ok, your Dad and I are running across the street to the coffeeshop for some hot chocolate, do you want to come with us?" He asked.

"No thanks Daddy, I think I'm just going to stay here. It's A Wonderful Life is coming on." She explained, knowing he'd believe that was her reason to stay. She did watch the movie every year around this time.

"Ok sounds good." Leroy said as he kissed her forehead and walked out with a sigh.

Rachel went back to staring out her window, watching the people on the crowded street outside. She saw a tall man with dark hair that reminded her of Finn. Lately everything reminded her of him.

"Merry Christmas, Finn. I hope your doing well. I'm ok if your wondering, though I don't even know if you care." She said to herself, imagining that Finn could hear her.

_I know this shouldn't be a lonely time  
But there were Christmases when you were mine  
_

_I've been doing fine without you, really  
Up until the nights got cold  
And everybody's here, except you, baby  
Seems like everyone's got someone to hold_

Two days later it was Christmas Day. Rachel had been feeling a little better over the last few days. Her Dads had kept her distracted enough so that her mind wasn't completely occupied with thoughts about Finn. She had been to see Promises, Promises, Hair and her Dads had even surprised her with tickets to Wicked. She had been shopping, skating in Rockefeller Centre, she saw Times Square and even took a tour of Julliard where she imagined herself going in a few short years. Now that she was back to the hotel and sitting in the restaurant, her thoughts returned to her boyfriend..well ex-boyfriend.

She was surrounded by hundred of other people, happy couples like her fathers. She wiped a tear from her eye as she realized nearly everyone else in the restaurant was there with their significant other. Everyone had someone to hold, except her.

_But for me it's just a lonely time  
Cause there were Christmases when you were mine  
_

Rachel remembered back to last year when her and Finn had gotten together for the first time as a real couple, after his break-up with Quinn and the whole Babygate scandal. Sure there first go at a relationship had been all to brief, ending after just over a month, but they had still managed to share a nice Christmas together where Finn had showed her how to celebrate the holiday, and where she realized that she did, indeed, love the holiday.

_Merry Christmas everybody  
That'll have to be something I just say this year  
_

She hated knowing that a big part of the loneliness she was feeling was her fault. She hated that she had been so insecure about her relationship with Finn towards the end, that she had ended up making what could have been the biggest mistake of her life, by kissing Noah. Her and Finn had almost worked things out, until he reminded her that they needed to be honest with eachother from now on. Then she had opened her big mouth, and hurt Finn in one of the worst possible ways. She knew she was right in telling him, keeping it to herself would have eaten her alive eventually, but she still wished, with everything that she was, that she could go back in time and not kiss Noah. Yeah Finn's actions the week before their break-up had been a big part of the reason that she ended up in Puck's arms, but she still shouldn't have done it. They were both at fault for the terrible end to their relationship.

_I'll bet you got your mom another sweater  
And were your cousins late again  
When you were putting up the lights this year  
Did you notice one less pair of hands  
_  
Rachel had to smile and suppress a laugh as she thought about last Christmas when she had spent the day at Finn's house celebrating Christmas with him and his Mom. Carole had tried to act surprised when opening her present, but it was pretty obvious that she wasn't surprised in the slightest that she had gotten a sweater. Finn later explained to Rachel that he had gotten his Mom a sweater every year since he was 5. It was like a tradition, and his Mom would always act surprised.

She remembered when Finn had called her over one night and asked for her help. It turned out that his Mom had left him in charge of putting up the outside lights, because she had been working late shifts, and he had no idea what to do. They had spent hours untangling the hundreds of multi-colored lights and then proceeded to hang them up around the tree in Finn's front yard, as well as on the porch railing. With her help, Finn's clumsy hands had only managed to break 4 light bulbs, which he considered a record.

She wondered if he had any help this year? She figured that Burt and Kurt would probably be helping out this time and that with Kurt's help, the yard would look like a winter wonderland.

_I know this shouldn't be a lonely time  
But there were Christmases when I didn't wonder how you are tonight  
Cause there were Christmases when you were mine_

She rubbed her sore eyes that night before she went to sleep, wondering how Finn was doing. Was he hurting like she was? Did he regret his decision to break up with her? Was he happier without her? She hoped not, she hoped he missed her at least a little. She sure missed him. The way he smelled, the way his dark brown eyes lit up when he saw her in the halls at school, the way he held her when she was sad like she was right now. "You were mine." She sang softly into her pillow as she drifted off into a restless sleep.

Well there you guys go. I hope you enjoyed it, as sad as it was. :D I've got a multi-chapter Glee fic coming your way shortly, so stay tuned.


	2. Christmas Without You

Ok, so I wasn't going to write another part to this story, but then I kind of found the perfect song, so I decided to continue with one more chapter. This will be Finn's side of things, as last chapter was Rachel's. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: You know the drill, I don't own anything. The song is Don't Want To Spend One More Christmas Without You by NSYNC (totally old school :D)

Don't Want to Spend One More Christmas Without You

_This is the time of year, that we learn to give  
And the greatest gift is learning to forgive  
We will have the best that time we ever knew  
If you forgive me and I forgive you_

_I don't want to light a fire  
Unless it will warm your heart  
I'm playin no holiday songs  
I need you to sing your part  
And baby if I could have just one wish come true  
I don't wanna spend one more Christmas without you  
_  
Finn let out a deep sigh as he laid on his bed, listened to the lyrics of the song playing on the radio, and threw a ball against the wall of his new bedroom. It was surprising how well the lyrics seemed to fit his current situation. He knew it was Christmas and that this was a time to forgive those who had wronged you throughout the year, his Mom had made sure to remind him of that a million times over the last few days.

He knew he should forgive Rachel, he really wanted to. He missed her like crazy. It was just hard. She had betrayed him and his trust. Sure she had apologized for it over and over and had tried to get back together with him on a number of occasions, but he just wasn't in the forgiving mood. That was until he really had allowed himself to remember the past year he had spent pining over Rachel and then finally getting the chance to be with her.

_It's so hard to believe  
We're staring at the end  
When all we think about is starting up again  
Whatever we lost, when we were apart  
We'll find it all alone in the dark  
_  
All those warm memories were hindered when he remembered her words, and the hurt in her voice shortly after he had ended things with her.

_"You said you'd never break up with me." _She had screamed at him in the middle of the hall at school.

It was true. They had made that promise to eachother, and at the time, he had really felt like there were no truer ever spoken. He was sure she was it for him. He had even went as far as to dream of marrying her and about having kids with her, something he had never done while dating Quinn.

He knew she was hurt by the fact that he had slept with Santana, and he finally understood why she made such a big deal about it. He apologized, but she still seemed to be mad at him, and just when they were finally about to get over their fight, she went and told him about what she did with Puck. _Puck._ He didn't even want to think about him right now. He focussed his thoughts back on Rachel.

He really missed her, more than he ever thought possible. He wondered what she was doing right now? If she missed him half as much as he missed her. _Probably not, you dumbass._ He thought to himself. _You made her feel like crap when she was just trying to make things right, both with him and the Glee club._ He couldn't blame her if she never spoke to him again after the way he had treated her in the Christmas tree lot that night. He remembered her saying something about asking Santa for him for Christmas and then they had kissed. It was a sweet kiss and he had wanted to give into it more than anything, but being the idiot that he was, he pulled away and left her standing in the middle of the lot with no ride home. _She'll never forgive you._ The voice in his head said.

It was then that he realized that the only thing he wanted for Christmas, was the same thing she had wished for. He wanted her, and he was going to get her back no matter what it took. No more Christmas apart. He couldn't, he wouldn't, spend another Christmas without her.

_I don't wanna light a fire  
Unless it will warm your heart  
I'm playin no holiday songs  
I need you to sing your part  
And baby if I could have just one wish come true  
I don't wanna spend one more Christmas without you_  
Jumping into his truck, he didn't even bother to tell his Mom or Burt where he was going. The only thing on his mind was getting to Rachel.

_There's nothing more that I want from you  
Then to lie here together  
And stay here forever with you  
_All he needed and wanted was to get Rachel to forgive him for being such a jerk, and make sure she knew he forgave her and that he loved her. He wanted, more than anything, to just crawl into her queen size bed and hold her, forever if he could. They could erase all the dark memories of the past few weeks and pretend like the rest of the world didn't exist.

He pulled onto Rachel's street and looked over to her house. The lights were off and it looked like nobody was home, but her car, along with her both her Dads cars were in the driveway. He decided to take a chance and as soon as he reached the front of the yard, he raced to her door and knocked. He waited a few moments before knocking again. He pounded on the door before one of Rachel's neighbors poked their head out their front door and recognized him from the many times he had been to Rachel's house.

"The Berrys ain't here." The guy said.

"Where are they?" Finn asked, not even caring that he probably sounded totally desperate. He was.

"Their in New York, took their daughter, your girlfriend, there for Christmas vacation or something. I'm watching over the house. I'm surprised you didn't know." The guy said.

Finn shrugged, not caring what the neighbor thought. "Thanks." He said sadly, hating his luck.

It was then he realized that he needed to talk to Rachel, and it didn't matter that she wasn't there. He just needed to talk to her, and he needed to do it now.

There's no one I ever knew  
That I wanted to spend Christmas with, more than you...

He pulled out his cell phone and pressed the number 2 in his speed dial. He waited a minute before she finally picked up and her voice filtered through the receiver.

"Finn?" She asked, her voice sounding small and sad. He could tell right away that she had been crying.

"Hi Rach." He managed to get out.

"Why are you calling? I mean I'm really glad you called, but I didn't think you were speaking to me." She said.

"I know Rach, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, you have no idea. I realize what an idiot I've been, and I know I've been a jerk to you and all, but I need you to know, I forgive you." He said without breathing.

It took a minute before for she replied, and for a second he thought she had hung up. "Y...you do? You really do?" She asked, still not sounding like herself, but he could hear the rise of hope in her voice.

"I really do. What you did was bad, but I made mistakes to, probably even more than you. I hope you can forgive me to. I just got to thinking about us and what we had and I know this is a time of forgiving and..." He was interrupted by Rachel's giggle.

"Finn...you can stop." She laughed. "It's ok, I forgive you. I understand that what I did was horrible, but just knowing you can forgive me is enough. We still have to talk about things, but I think, no I know, we'll be ok."

"Good, cause Rach the only thing I know is that I never want to spend another Christmas without you."

_I don't want to light a fire_  
_Unless it will warm your heart  
I'm playin no holiday songs  
I need you to sing your part  
And baby if I could have just one wish come true  
I don't wanna spend one more Christmas without you_  
Finn was so happy that he started singing into his cell phone, not even caring about the looks he might receive from people passing by. He had all he wanted for Christmas, he just needed her to be back in his arms and then it would truely feel like Christmas.

"Rach? Will you sing with me? I just really need to hear your voice right now." He said quietly into the phone, and somehow he knew Rachel was standing there, in her hotel room, with a huge smile on her face.

"There's nothing I would love to do more."

_I don't want to light a fire  
Unless it will warm your heart  
I'm playin no holiday songs  
I need you to sing your part  
And baby if I could have just one wish come true  
I don't wanna spend one more Christmas  
I don't wanna spend one more Christmas  
I don't wanna spend one more Christmas without you _


End file.
